Disclaimer: This Is kinda a long post.
I’ve been called a Hippie and a Free Spirit. I guess that Is because I always went to the beat of my own drum. When I was younger I did what I was told because I didn’t know better or I didn’t have my own Independence because I was younger and didn’t know better. When I was younger I did things that to others It looked like I just didn’t give a shit. It wasn’t because I didn’t give a shit It was because I did things my own way and I expressed myself how I saw fit.
When I got older I did some fuck ups not going to lie. I failed the 10th grade because I skipped school and smoked marijuana with my friends. When asked why I failed I simply replied with “school Isn’t going to help me learn about the real world”. I didn’t even know what I meant. I repeated the 10th grade and I met a lot of cool ass people that school year. I went to parties, smoked marijuana and just felt free.
Later I met a man (we are still friends today) and we got to the talking about love and life and when I was talking he told me that I was a free spirit/Hippie that Is an old soul. I didn’t know what he meant but maybe I kinda did since I was studying Buddhism. I listened to oldies, classical, reggae, country, and anything that tickled my fancy.
I always went to the beat of my own drum. I was told from a young age that you go to school you make friends, you go to high school you have fun, you go to parties you make friends and memories, then you go to college you study a field that will make you some money you make friends and you graduate. Once you graduate you get a job In the field you studied you save money and then you buy yourself a house, you get married, you have kids and you make new friends as a married couple.
Honestly, none of that sounded appealing to me. I never wanted kids. Since a young age, a kid(s) was something that I never wanted In my life. I wanted to do things that I felt gave me purpose. Yes, I could’ve gone to college and learned whatever It Is that I wanted to learn at that time. Most of my friends went off to college to learn whatever and now most of them are paying off college debt and they don’t work In that field because they couldn’t get a job that they studied. Why did would I want to go Into debt and not get a job In whatever I studied. For me, I just wanted to live my life and get experience that way.
I always wanted to learn from life. I’ve just got up and left to go to the beach with friends In the middle of the night and didn’t let anyone know because I just wanted to get up and go. I always wanted to just get up and go. My soul craved(s) It. To me being spiritual and being a Free Spirit didn’t go hand In hand In my mind. I just wanted to live my best life during that time.
Being “labeled” a Free Spirit Is a complex thing. I’ve always been me. I’ve always did what I wanted to do (within reason). I don’t understand why categorize something? I remember the first time almost 3 years ago when I buzzed my hair off I got compared to Amber Rose. First I am flattered that you are comparing me to someone that Is beautiful Second why can’t I do something like buzz my hair off because It’s something I wanted to do. Almost 3 years later I still buzz my hair off once a week or every other week when I remember or have time do It.
I was never told that I didn’t have to shave my legs or wear a bra. I was always told that was something I had to do when I reached a certain age. I didn’t understand but again I was young I did what I was told. I always questioned things. If I was told do something I would reply with “why”? Why do I need to do that? And always get the same response because I said so.
I wasn’t taught to wear makeup. Actually, It was something that If I wanted to wear It I had to be a certain age. I never really cared to wear makeup because It was something that I didn’t want to take the time to learn. While my friends In school had to get up an hour earlier I was able to sleep In because all I had to do what throw on my clothes and go catch the bus or a ride from a friend to school. Fashion was also something I never really cared about. I wore whatever made me feel good. Mainly I wore Hockey and Baseball jerseys.
Fast forward to Today to this post. I still get compared to someone that might be slightly famous but also a Hippie/Free Spirit.
I don’t like routine. Well, I like routine when it comes to coffee. I always make my coffee when I wake up. Anyway, other than that I don’t like routine. I don’t like the feeling of having to do something when I might want to. I love to do things at my own pace. I often get called lazy because I might not feel like doing something when told the first time. If you want me to be productive night time Is my time when I shine. During the day I’m “lazy” and when night hits I get filled with thoughts and Ideas and that’s when I do these posts at night when the juices are flowing. I post whatever comes to my mind and I go with It.
Even though I might not be as productive during the day If I am asked to do something I do it with 100%. I don’t like being a failure even If I work best at night and I put my everything Into It.
Another reason I get called a Free Spirit Is that I’m always wanting to learn unconventional things. I wanted to learn Buddhism and then I learned how to read tarot cards. For me learning how to read tarot cards Is/was something that always Interested me and I finally did It. When I gave my first reading It felt weird, cool, and pleasing. Now I’m learning about Lucid Dreaming because It’s also something that Interested me. I’ve always done that In my life and I’ll continue to do so.
Love has been something that has been hard for me to find. I’ve dated In the past. Shit, I’ve mentioned how I was In a long-term relationship for 9 years. The problem with that relationship among other things was my attitude and my go with the flow of things approach to life. He was high strung always worried about things that were out of his control. I spent the better part of the relationship trying to get him to calm down It never worked. It bothered him that I wasn’t bothered by a lot of things. I wasn’t bothered because I can’t control things that I had no control over.
I just didn’t see the point In worrying about things that may or may not happen. The one thing I did want but never got was his true love and his acceptance of me and my spiritual side. He kinda and I use that word loosely that he was a church guy. In the end, I realized that I spent the better part of the relationship wanting something that I always knew that I wasn’t going to get and I strive for people to like me for me and for the first time It didn’t happen.
It was hard for him to keep up with my emotions and my neediness to always want to go and be outside even If It was just a walk In the park. I always tried to build him up and help him get to a point In his life that he felt like he has somebody by his side through thick and thin. I again didn’t get that from him and for me, my heart was broken a bit but not fully.
I’ve been told that I am over emotional and I thought that was because I’m a female. But when I was talking to my friend he told me that It’s because I care about other people’s feelings and again I thought It was because I’m a good person who tries to be a good person on the daily. He told me It’s because since I’m spiritual and the way I live my life the reason I feel the things the way I do Is because I’m a bit of a Free Spirit.
As the days go on my brain thinks of all the things I want to do and may not know that I wanted to do. For many years I want to experience and see everything. I want to travel and I can’t because of money. Also If I ever travel I want to travel where I end up. Maybe go on a road trip or maybe I just will buy a random ticket to a place and go. In the end, I would love to think I’ll travel but until then I’ll just daydream of the day that may or may not happen.
Up to this point I’ve talked about things that may or may not make sense to you. Here Is the last things I’ll talk about. That Is beauty. Yes, I’ve done beauty reviews here In the past and I know I haven’t done them for awhile. My point Is Is that I don’t care what Beauty trends are going on at the current moment. If I buy a beauty product It’s because I want to try It not because society told me I needed It. Yes, I wear makeup from time to time and I bleach my buzzed hair and I do my nails. I do these things for me and not for anybody else.
When I first buzzed my hair 3 years ago. the guy I was dating at the time told me he found me less attractive because I didn’t have long hair anymore. I was recently talking to another guy and he told me the same thing. He said he prefers his woman to have long natural dark hair. My response to both of these men (obviously not at the same time I’m a woman and It’s my body and I can do what I want when I want and you can’t tell me what to do because you don’t own me. I’m my own person and If I want to buzz my hair off I will and If I want to grow my leg hair I will because I can that Is my right as a woman.
The point Is beauty Is beauty and It’s different for everyone. For me, beauty Isn’t about having long hair and my nails done. For me, beauty Is about waking up and enjoying the day. Beauty Isn’t about how much makeup I wear or how tight my jeans or yoga pants are. It’s about wearing things that make me feel good and wearing jewelry that expresses me for me that Is beauty.
I know this post WAS very long and If you made It to the point comment “I made It!”
Again this Is me expressing myself and what makes me a spiritual free spirit. Everyone Is different and I respect that. I also respect everybody’s opinions but I will not tolerate rude comments so If you want to comment please make It nice.
Thank You for reading this long post and I left the places that you can contact me If you have any questions.
Here Is the link to the yoga app that I use
If you have any comments, questions, concerns or suggestions on what you want to see next or what I could Improve on you can reach me here or on any of my social media sites.
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